An Apple A Day
by LawliPop
Summary: After Light is found guilty of a series of murders which he claims to have no memory of, he is sent to a mental institution. His doctor? A quirky, bedraggled looking man with a love for sweets and solving mysteries. LightxL AU DISCONTINUED.
1. Doctor L Lawliet

_Lawli: Hello, and welcome to my first Death Note fanfic! Since I'm new to the fandom, I'm not sure if a story like this has ever been done yet, but I hope not 'cause I like to have unique ideas. Anyways, yeah, welcome to the fic. Even though this chapter (the prologue) is very short, I hope you reader(s) enjoy it anyways. Rest assured, future chapters will be longer. Please R&R!!_

_Disclaimer: If I owned Death Note, the ending of episode 25 would not be the way it is. -sniffle-_

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__An Apple A Day_

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**

Prologue -- Doctor L Lawliet.

"_...Did you know?"_

No-one ever visited the Red Wing of Lawliet Institute, where two patients resided. It wasn't that they were potentially dangerous – well, they were, but a majority of the time they were both relatively tame and even-tempered – but they were surrounded by chilling rumors. Rumors of murders, of secret powers, of frightening monsters.

"_Did you know, doctor?"_

Doctor L Lawliet, founder of the Institute, loved rumors. A rumor was a puzzle which one had to solve, in order to discover whether or not it was based upon truth. Normally, instead of rumors, Doctor L Lawliet referred to them as 'mysteries', for he liked to think of himself as a sort of detective. The mysteries of the Red Wing particularly fascinated him, and it was this fascination that drove him to take full responsibility of the two patients. He would get to know them, and slowly but surely he would put the pieces of the puzzle in place.

"_Shinigami only eat apples."_

"Shinigami..." Doctor L Lawliet sighed, his dark orbs momentarily sliding shut and blocking out the sights of the room around him. When enough time had passed, he unclosed his eyes and, in a swift movement hopped on to his favorite cushioned office chair, drawing his knees up to his chest. He surveyed the papers on his desk with only minute interest. He'd looked over them so many times that they were starting to bore him. Papers and books could only get him so far. If he needed to learn more, he would have to make himself known.

He'd never introduced himself to a patient before. Always he preferred to work behind the scenes, solving cases of patients' different mental diseases that other doctors were afraid to investigate, and doing so by only analyzing the patients' records and observing them on tape from right there in his office.

For both these patients, number 5471 and number 5472, twenty-four-hour observation proved useless. He'd watched both of them for a period of over fifty days, and in that time, no new clues developed. Although, he wouldn't say that neither patient came across as suspicious in that time. Oh no... He wouldn't say that. Both numbers 5471 and 5472 came across as dubious during their captivity. But with this distance separating them, the doctor could not rightfully pass any judgment on them.

Another sigh passed through his lips and slowly he reached forward, taking into his hands a sheet of paper with neatly typed information regarding his two patients printed down the center. He held the paper by the very top corners between the index finger and thumb of both his left and right hands, using only several inches to separate it from his face.

"Patient 5471 – Amane Misa. Gender, female. Age, eighteen. Former model and avid KIRA supporter. Brought to Lawliet Institute in May, 2006."

He set the paper down and picked up another, supporting it up in the same peculiar manner. He wriggled his bare toes as his slate gray orbs darted across the page, lips forming the syllables as he spoke aloud to himself.

"Patient 5472 – Yagami Light. Gender, male. Age, twenty. Second to arrive, but thought to be the more dangerous of the two. Brought to the Lawliet Institute in January, 2007."

A frown twitched L's lips downwards. He leaned back very slightly, careful not to lose balance or tip over – which would be easy, considering his awkward manner of sitting – and began to recall the many similarities his two patients shared.

_Both have mentioned a 'Note' and 'The Eyes', and have been witnessed talking to themselves..._

_Both seem to have no memories of the months prior to being brought here..._

_After first being put into solitary confinement, they both spoke two an invisible second person in the room. For 5471, there was Rem. For 5472, there was Ryuk. After fifteen or so days, this stopped, as did any knowledge either had pertaining to KIRA and the past several months of their lives. _

L brought his thumb to his lip, chewing thoughtfully on the skin around the nail.

"_Did you know, doctor? Shinigami only eat apples."_

"..._Shinigami don't exist."_

"_Yes they do. Yes they do, doctor. And they'll kill you one day. They'll kill you for making me stay in this awful place! They'll kill you for letting me die here!"_

_A door swung closed. Doctor L Lawliet stared passively down the empty white hallway, his back hunched and his hands stuffed deep into the pockets of his pants. Strands of long black hair shaded his eyes. Shaking his head slowly, he turned away from the door and the threats directed towards him that could be heard through it._

"_Shinigami don't exist."_

L huffed in annoyance. He would never figure anything out at this rate.

Standing up from his chair, he walked around his desk and picked up the telephone, holding the receiver in the same manner that he held the paper – by the very top, with one his thumb and index finger. He punched a red button with his other index finger. There was some static, and then an elderly voice resounded from the speaker, asking what he would like.

"Watari... prepare a new room in the Red Wing for patient 5472. Include in it an extra bed. He will be having a roommate."

"L, can you mean..?"

"I would also like some tea, with extra sugar cubes."

And with that, he hung up the phone.

_Shinigami... Shinigami don't exist. _

There was a logical explanation behind his patients' symptoms, and he would find out what it was.

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_Lawli: Aaannnd that's all you get for now. If you all review, maybe it will inspire me to update faster?? -nudge, nudge- Review please!!_


	2. Yagami Light

_Lawli: Thank you to everyone who read the prologue -- and especially to those who left reviews! I was a little bit nervous about the response I'd get for this fic, since it's my first Death Note story and all... I hope was able to portray the characters realistically. I tried to keep them as in-character as possible. Anyways, on with chapter one! Please read and review! _

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**Chapter One – Yagami Light.  
**

The doors of Lawliet Institute were pulled open slowly by two vigil guards. Yagami Light cast his amber eyes upon them, only to notice the protective masks covering their faces. A grunt escaped his lips and he looked away. The guards supporting each of his arms led him inside.

"_The human whose name is written in this Note shall die." _

The walls were white, as was the marble flooring, and the employee uniforms, and the flickering light bulbs overhead. His fingers twitched, and he reached instinctively for his right pants pocket, hoping to brush his fingers against a familiar piece of lined paper. Nothing. He hadn't brought any with him this time; he'd been foolishly confident.

"_I'm going to change the world." _

He'd always been a precocious child – brilliant and well-mannered and righteous and beautiful, and his parents were so proud of him, as any parent would be had they a son so perfect.

From the start of his schooling, he'd earned marks that landed him at the top of the class. His teachers loved him, his peers idolized him. He was handsome and knew how to speak in public, and could talk easily and smoothly around girls (something which all the other boys both admired and resented him for). Truly, he was the ideal son, brother, friend, and lover; thoughtful, good-looking, and honorable. In the eyes of those around him, he could do no wrong. He was on top of the world.

But that was not enough.

Why be on top of the world when he could be _above_ the world – controlling it, ruling over it? Why be a human – even a highly revered human – when he could be a _god_?

"_The world is rotten. Rotten people should be killed off to cleanse this world."_

The Death Note came at exactly the right time. He was seventeen, in his final year of high school, generally disgusted with the human race, and bored out of his mind. When he saw the deserted black book falling from the sky, he knew it was the work of a higher being. And, wanting to become a part of that superior realm, he found the book and brought it home to diligently study the rules listed in the front and back covers.

"_The human whose name is written in this Note shall die."_

He knew there was a message hidden in those words. A message from God, to him.

"_**The human**__ whose name i__**s**__ written in this Note __**shall die**__."_

He, Yagami Light, was the only one who could carry out God's will. With the Death Note in his possession...

"_The humans shall die." _

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__-( An apple a day )-  
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Light could deal with a lot of things. Already, he carried a burden that not many could attest to carrying; for almost a full year now, he'd been living in a mental institution. Aside from that that, he also harbored a secret deep within his clever mind. A secret that he refused to tell anyone – especially his prying doctors.

"_I am KIRA."_

His secret was what had initially landed him in Lawliet Institute. Supposedly, the NPA found evidence subsequent for pinning him as the mass-murderer known by the public as KIRA. In order to keep him from receiving a sentence of life in prison (or worse, death), his father – chief of police – pleaded his son's insanity. He would stay at Lawliet Institute until his father discovered a method to prove his innocence.

And Lawliet Institute was fine. Though it was nothing like the comfort of home, Lawliet Institute beat going to prison by a long shot. At Lawliet, he was protected (from the media, and from the anti-KIRA movement that wished to see him dead).

He was constantly questioned by doctors and investigators, but he never gave any incentive for them to believe that he was indeed KIRA. Always he kept calm and collected, and answered their questions with little white lies – alluding to the truth without plainly stating it, and always making it seem as if he were the victim in the situation.

He was innocent. He was a victim of KIRA.

Everyone wanted to believe that. Everyone hated the thought of the perfect, beautiful boy being found guilty of such atrocious crimes.

They still suspected, and he allowed them to. He could always write their names down once he was freed from Lawliet. If everything went according to plan... he'd be god of a new world by the end of the year. And all those who apposed him would be eliminated.

Confinement, accusations, pressure; Light could deal with a lot of things.

His new roommate, however, was something Light didn't know how to handle.

He'd never met anyone like him.

The first thing that stuck out about Hideki Ryuuga was his extreme, unabashed ugliness. With large black bags under his sunken, expressionless eyes, untamed hair, and inhumanly long arms, Ryuuga looked like nothing less than a failed experimentation to cross a raccoon and a monkey. The deathly pallor only served to further accentuate his abnormality, as did the apparent hunch of his stance.

As a pampered young man who'd surrounded himself with equally pampered boys and girls for the majority of his life, Light found himself unsure of how to approach someone as awkward and strange as Ryuuga. How to share a room with someone who neurotically insisted that he could not sit like a normal human being, and who obviously had no sense of hygiene?

Light wondered, as he sat down heavily on the bed opposite of the black-haired man, when the last time Ryuuga took a shower. And the more he thought about it and observed his quirky roommate, the more he found himself unwilling to learn the answer to that question. While Ryuuga emitted no foul odors (actually, he smelled like strawberries), the grease in his hair was enough of an omen.

When he first entered his new room in the Red Wing, he expected he'd once again be alone. Unfortunately, when the door opened, it revealed the gangly young man sitting on his bed; his long legs drawn up to his chin and held in place by his arms. His spidery fingers gripped his knobby knees tightly, and his wide sunken eyes stared openly as Yagami Light entered.

After several moments of intense staring, he finally blinked and introduced himself. "Hideki Ryuuga."

This immediately captured Light's interest, for the name belonged to a famous pop idol. Inquisitively he looked over his roommate, as if to discern his true identity. Certainly this could not be Hideki Ryuuga.

_A false name?_

But what need would his roommate have for an alias, unless he had something to hide?

Well, he was a patient in the Red Wing of Lawliet Institute; Ryuuga Hideki obviously had secrets.

Light smirked. Maybe it would benefit him? If he somehow discovered Ryuuga's true identity, perhaps there was a way he could use that information to his advantage. The amount of use he could extract from a man with mental problems probably teetered on the low end of the spectrum, but Light would take any pawn he could get.

"Yagami Light," the brunette answered, inclining his head very slightly.

"Ah, Light-kun, then," Ryuuga decided, reaching for a tray that Light had not noticed before.

The brown tray was positioned to Ryuuga's left, and on it a plastic plate and fork and a half-eaten piece of strawberry shortcake. Ryuuga took a bite, smacking his lips appreciatively as he chewed. Light couldn't help but wonder how Ryuuga had gotten a hold of cake. Did he get his food delivered instead of eating in the cafeteria, or had he simply hidden it in his clothes and brought it back with him?

Ryuuga swallowed and then cast a sidelong glance in Light's direction. "Light-kun is staring at my cake," he observed, before coming to a conclusion. "Light-kun is jealous that I have cake. I will share."

He then cut a piece of cake off, stabbed it with the fork, and then held the utensil out to Light. Light noted the peculiar manner in which his roommate held the fork – with the very tips of his thumb and index finger, as if he was afraid to touch it. When he made no move to reach for the offered cake, Ryuuga stared dejectedly at him for a moment before stuffing the slice into his own mouth.

"Light-kun does not want cake?" he asked, crumbs spraying in every direction.

Light shook his head. "I don't like sweets."

To Ryuuga, this seemed to be the most ludicrous thing he'd ever heard. He licked the frosting from his fork. "Light-kun is strange."

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-( keeps the doctor away... )-  
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"_How do you suppose a Shinigami kills?"_

_L glanced over his shoulder, a bored look in his large black eyes. "Why do you keep talking about Shinigami? It's not like they're real."_

"_But they have to be real. Miheal told me –"_

"_You shouldn't believe Miheal. You know he's a liar. You tell me he lies to you all the time."_

"_I know..."_

_There was a brief moment of silence, before a new question was posed. "What do you think would happen if a human was able to kill like a Shinigami?"_

_L scratched the back of his head, wriggling his toes. He reached out to the table in front of him and with two fingers took one sugar cube from a bowl. For a moment, he studied it, then he plopped it into his mouth. While he was slightly curious about why he was being asked such questions – and by a child, no less – he shrugged it off, figuring the reason was based merely on juvenile inquisitiveness. _

"_... Wouldn't it be nice if a human had such a power? Then they could get rid of all the bad people in the world." _

_L, who was just about to reach for a second piece of sugar, halted. His black eyes widened slightly, flickering between the sugar bowl and his patient. Slowly he withdrew his hand, placing it on his knee. He shook his head. "I do not think so," he disagreed solemnly. "I think it would be awful. Humans have no right to judge other humans."_

_There was a tiny sigh. "But... I am being judged. That's why I'm here, right? You think something is wrong with me. You're judging me, even right now..."_

_L didn't say anything. Picking up another sugar cube, he ate it silently. _

_The patient stood from the sofa and walked across to the table, reaching into the fruit bowl and selecting a red apple. A crunching sound resonated throughout the room as the first bite was taken. _

"_Juicy... Did you know, doctor? Shinigami love apples."_

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-( or so they say. )-  
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"Light-kun? Oi, Light-kun..."

Light suppressed a groan. For the past several minutes, Ryuuga had been attempting to capture his attention. Light wanted to sleep. What could possibly be so important that Ryuuga had to wake him up in the middle of the night?

"What is it, Hideki-san?" he finally replied, not rolling over to face his roommate. In his mind's eye, he could already picture the black-haired man sitting in his peculiar manner with his legs drawn up to his chest and his thumb in his mouth.

The mattress squeaked as Ryuuga shifted his weight on it. "Oh, nothing... I was just wondering if Light-kun was still awake or not." He waited a moment before admitting, "I couldn't fall asleep." There was a distressed edge to his voice.

Light heaved a sigh and finally sat up, rubbing his eyes tiredly. "Is there something on Hideki-san's mind?"

Ryuuga nodded his head. "Oh yes. Lots of things. I am always thinking. That's why I sit like this," he explained, gesturing towards himself with his freakish, bony fingers. "If I don't sit like this, my reasoning ability drops forty percent."

"Does it?" Light asked, completely disinterested. He stifled a yawn. "What could Hideki-san possibly have to reason?"

"Many things," Ryuuga answered. "I think about many things. Right now, I am thinking about Light-kun, and what he is doing here. Light-kun seems very smart and handsome; he is not like the other patients here."

Light tilted his head to the side. "How long have you been here, Hideki-san?"

"At Lawliet? I can't tell."

"You can't? Why not?"

"Why not? Because Light-kun does not need to know."

"Why did you wake me up?"

Ryuuga chewed on his thumb nail. "I want to know why Light-kun is here."

Light crossed his arms over his chest. "Because it's better than prison."

Ryuuga blinked, his thumb sliding up his top row of teeth, pushing his upper lip to the side. "... Prison?" he repeated.

Light wondered if, perhaps, he said too much. Though he came off as unintelligent, there was a possibility that the gears in Ryuuga's mind functioned perfectly. What if he was able to piece the information together – inform the doctors? Light needed to be cleared of all suspicion. He could not afford to reveal his secrets to anyone, especially not his roommate who could tell them to anyone he pleased.

"... I'm going back to sleep, Hideki-san. I suggest you do the same."

With that said, Light eased himself back down on the small mattress. He could feel Ryuuga's eyes boring into him, even after he slipped back into the unconscious world.

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_Lawli: That's all for chapter one! Again, I hope the characters were written believably. Please tell me if they aren't, because I'm trying to keep them in character. Also, if you happen to notice any spelling or grammar errors, please point them out to me. Thank you!_

_Press the purple button! Review, please!_


	3. Apple Seed

_Lawli: Omigosh! I changed my penname. Did anyone notice? I thought it was cuter... 'cause it has a bit of L's name in it. __Anyways! On to what's important. Thank you to everyone who read and reviewed the first chapter! _

_Just for the record, I **do not** think that L is ugly. I find him absolutely adorable. Compared to Light-kun, though, even I have to admit that L is a little abnormal looking._

_Also, someone was wondering about the rules of the Death Note. I've changed the rules around a little bit in order for Light to keep his memories without actually having ownership of the D.N. I'll be explaining it further in this and future chapters, so you'll see. _

_Please R&R!! _

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Chapter Two -- Apple Seed.

"_As a rule, they say that humans haunted by a Shinigami have nothing but misfortune."_

_Light cast a glance behind him, a slender eyebrow quirking upwards as his focus landed on the monstrous form of the Death God. To anyone else, Ryuk would appear frightening, but to Light the Reaper was nothing more than a large clown – useful only for saying humorous things._

"_Is that supposed to scare me, Ryuk?" he asked. _

_When the Shinigami only bit into his apple as response, the brunette returned to his homework, answering the equations on the paper easily and quickly. Once the assignment was completed, he placed it aside and moved on to something much more important. Justice. Carefully, the young man removed a thin black notebook from its carefully constructed hiding place under a panel in the top right drawer of Light's desk. _

"_You know, Ryuk," he said as he flipped to an empty page, "I've never considered finding the notebook and gaining its powers as a misfortune. But..." With his free hand, he reached for the remote control and flipped on the television beside his desk. A breaking news story interrupted the soap opera that had been scheduled to air._

"_This is Kiyomi Takada of Sakura Television, bringing you the latest update on the KIRA case."_

_Interest captured, Light shifted his attention to the television screen, where he could see the lead anchorwoman sitting behind a small desk, wearing a professional outfit and a serious expression. Kiyomi Takada – one of his first girlfriends back in high school – a known KIRA supporter. Light turned the volume up. _

"_We have received word from the KIRA Investigation Headquarters that the operator – or operators – of KIRA may actually be residing here in the Kanto region of Japan. When interviewed last week, one of the leaders of the investigation team had this to say..." _

_The picture on the screen switched from the pretty anchorwoman to a stately man standing outside a nondescript building. Though his face was blurred and no name was revealed so as to protect his identity, Light could still easily tell that the man was the Chief of Police – his father, Yagami Soichirou. _

"_Based upon the fact that the first of KIRA's murders took place in the Kanto region, we are safely assuming that KIRA is here in our own backyard. This has narrowed down the list of suspects by a hefty percentage."_

_When asked to relay more details about the suspects, Yagami-san held up his hand and declined, explaining that while they were making significant progress on the case, the police could not afford to release any more information at the moment._

_Light was surprised they'd been able to pinpoint KIRA's location so easily. He'd made a habit of choosing victims from countries other than Japan, but appeared as if he'd done so too late. The investigation team knew he resided in Kanto... it was only a matter of time before they began to suspect members of the team's families. _

"_How interesting..." Ryuk mused, snapping the apple core in half. "I wonder what Light is going to do about this."_

_Light hit the power button and the television shut down. "I'm surprised. They're getting closer." By the tone of his voice, it didn't sound as if this bit of information concerned him at all. In fact, one would think the brown-haired man was... excited by this turn of events. "Closer..."_

_With a pen now in his hand, he proceeded to neatly print the characters that made up the name of a criminal he'd seen on the news earlier that morning; a thirty-five-year-old American who'd beaten and raped a pregnant woman before killing her. How did the world not understand that scum like that deserved to be executed? If only the government realized that KIRA stood for justice – that KIRA made up for what the judicial systems were lacking. It would make things so much easier for him..._

_But if things were easy, being KIRA would get boring. Light hated boring. _

"_I don't think I'll be able to pass judgment for much longer," Light informed, not looking at the Death God he spoke to. "As the Chief of Police's son, I'll be made a suspect soon, and if I've made any errors in the past they'll certainly be uncovered within the next few months. If that happens... KIRA will cease to exist. I won't allow that."_

_Ryuk ate the second half of the apple core, sighing in satisfaction after swallowing the remains. "Oh?" he asked, intrigued. Light was always thinking up new ways to keep him entertained. _

"_If they find me guilty – and I'm sure they will, eventually – my father will do anything to prove me innocent. Meaning he might plead my insanity. And then... I'll be sent away and locked up for a while, in a place where I'll be placed under constant supervision. If I'm at such a place, there's no way I can continue to be KIRA. But KIRA can't just disappear... Even if I'm not the one passing judgment, KIRA must still exist. Which means..."_

_Ryuk waited expectantly, his dark eyes widening a fraction. "Which means?" he prompted._

"_Which means I'll have to relinquish ownership of the Death Note before I'm sent away. Which means you will have to find a new owner of the Death Note – one who be useful to me in the long run."_

_Cackling, the Shinigami shook his head. "What makes you think I'll help you, Light? Once you hand over the Death Note, I can just go back to the Shinigami Realm. I don't have any loyalty to you whatsoever. I told you that in the beginning."_

"_You'll be well-rewarded, Ryuk," Light promised, adding another name to the list of his murders. "I don't expect something for nothing. I know everything in the world have a price, and if you do this for me I'll give you what it is you desire most. Entertainment, and of course all the apples you could ever want."_

_At the mention of apples, Ryuk appeared torn between what he should do. Really, he didn't care about what happened to Light. The human was brilliant, yes, and his quest to create a new world was amusing, but Ryuk didn't care whether the plan succeeded or not; actually, he believed it would be a better ending if Light failed. But Light was his source of attaining apples. If Light disappeared... then no more apples for Ryuk. And since apples for Ryuk were the equivalent of drugs to addicted humans, he would go through a painful withdrawal if his dealer no longer existed. _

"_You drive a hard bargain, Light," Ryuk said, and Light smirked, knowing the Shinigami was about to concede to his wishes. "Don't think this changes anything between us." _

_Light closed the notebook, his judgment done for the evening. He could hear his sister calling him down for dinner. "Of course, Ryuk," he said, returning the Death Note to its proper hiding place before fluidly rising from his chair and exiting the bedroom. _

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_-( A stone )-  
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_

"Is Light-kun going to eat that?"

Light glanced to the left and found Hideki Ryuuga eyeing the cupcake on his tray with lustful black eyes. Already the strange man was poised and ready for action, his hand slowly inching closer to the dessert in question, prepared to snatch it away even if Light wanted to keep it. Figuring it would be pointless to refuse, Light pushed his tray closer to his roommate, who eagerly took the cupcake into possession while declaring how generous the brunette was. Light merely rolled his eyes.

"I told you I don't like sweets," Light reminded, trying to ignore the disgustingly sloppy manner in which Ryuuga ate. There were crumbs along the edges of Ryuuga's mouth, and many more spilling down the front of his shirt.

Presently, the two sat side-by-side in the semi-crowded cafeteria. Surprisingly, Ryuuga was the one who suggested they leave the room to get their meals – said he was bored of staring at the wall, and that the nurses never brought enough cake up to satisfy him, so it would be better if he got it himself.

For Light this didn't matter, seeing as how he was normally escorted to the cafeteria for lunch. All it meant was that now he had more time to spend with his roommate (as if being locked in a room with him practically twenty-four hours a day wasn't enough).

"It's strange," Ryuuga said, swallowing his mouthful of chocolate cupcake. "I've been rooming with Light-kun for a few days and I still don't know anything about him – only that he doesn't like sweets."

Light tilted his head to the side. "I don't know anything about you either, Hideki-san," he pointed out.

Ryuuga made no point to deny this. He hadn't exactly been an open book and he was aware of that. It only made Light's suspicion of him increase. What could Hideki Ryuuga possibly be hiding behind those beady eyes?

Instead of taking another bite of the cupcake, Ryuuga looked over at the brown-haired man, his expression blank as always. "Is there something Light-kun wishes to know?" he wondered.

"Yes," Light answered truthfully, not turning his attention away from Ryuuga even as a young woman came by and placed a small cup on the table space between the two men.

Ryuuga's gaze shifted to the side and he stared into the cup before picking it up in his customary manner and raising it to his lips. Light could hear the sound of pills sliding along the plastic before they were deposited into the man's mouth. This was not uncommon. Ryuuga was often given medication – what for, Light had no idea because he figured Ryuuga wouldn't tell him even if he asked.

The other male seemed to catch him staring, however, for he leaned closer to the brunette as if to whisper into his ear. Light fleetingly thought that, due to his awkward manner of sitting, Ryuuga might fall over should he lean too far. Instinctively, to keep his roommate from meeting injury, he reached his hands out and placed them firmly on the other's knobby shoulders. He could feel Ryuuga's body stiffen, as if not used to any physical contact; given he lived in a mental institution, Light found it easy to believe that he wasn't used to any contact whatsoever.

Ryuuga gaped at him, unblinking, for several long moments, and Light began to fear that he'd made a terrible mistake. What if Ryuuga was the sort of person who feared being touched? Though he'd given no indication of being aggressive, what if Ryuuga lashed out at him? What if –

Light was shocked to feel Ryuuga's hands settle over his own, the spidery fingers unexpectedly warm against his skin. Ryuuga's eyes were still boring into him, and Light couldn't bring himself to look away. Time seemed to freeze, leaving the two roommates the only things alive. Ryuuga inched closer, and finally broke the thick silence that had settled between them.

"Haunted," he breathed, and Light noticed his eyelids flutter momentarily. "I'm haunted."

And then his body pitched forward, falling against Light's chest like a dead weight, and the chestnut-haired man realized he'd fallen unconscious. As he turned his amber orbs on the nurse who stood several feet away, the woman smiled and approached, plucking the empty plastic cup off the table.

"Sleeping pills," she explained, "courtesy of Doctor Watari."

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-( __from the hand of a friend )-  
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"_Papa... Papa, I'm scared."_

_Lightening flashed just beyond the window. The young child trembled in the doorway, her large gray eyes filled with anxiety. The rain pounded against the house and there was another crash of lightening, followed shortly afterwards by the angry grumble of thunder. _

"_There's a monster..."_

_The young man sitting in the bed held his arms open, and the girl didn't hesitate to fill them. Her small frame quivered against the strong, unshakable body of her father. He held her in his comforting embrace. _

"_There's nothing out there."_

"_But I saw it! A monster... staring at me."_

"_You're only imagining things. Please, calm down. Everything is going to be okay."_

_The young girl sniffled, clinging to her father desperately. "It's going to kill me like it killed Mummy. It's going to kill me and Papa..." _

_Another flash from outside. And he swore he saw it too, if only for a second. A monster, maybe eight feet tall – or more – hovering at the foot of the bed, grinning down at the two humans with an unnaturally wide smile. _

_Shinigami..._

_Impossible!_

_- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -_  
_-( is an apple. )-  
_- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Light woke to the sound of Ryuuga screaming.

The black-haired man sat upright in his bed, the sheets clenched tightly in his shaking fists, his eyes practically shaking in their sockets. Light could faintly detect the sheen of sweat glistening on the man's brow.

The air of the room felt colder than normal, but the sound coming from Ryuuga's mouth had reduced to small little gasps. Light watched as Ryuuga tried to regain composure, observing the man draw his legs up to his chest and wrap his arms around them to secure the position. His breathing was still labored, but gradually it began to calm.

Assuming it was safe to talk, Light softly called out to his roommate. "Hideki-san...?"

Ryuuga's gaze slowly wandered over to him, and he seemed to just realize that the other was fully conscious during his episode. For a second, he appeared embarrassed, but quickly he covered that and all other emotions up. "L-Light-kun." He wet his lips, and then apologized. "I disturbed your sleep."

Light shook his head. "It's okay," he assured, even though he did wish he was still dreaming. No matter how cold it sounded, he didn't really feel like comforting a grown man who'd suffered a bad dream.

But apparently, night terrors were a common occurrence for Hideki Ryuuga. The previous few nights had been blissfully tranquil, but Light assumed Ryuuga had kept himself awake then. With the aid of the medication from his doctor, however, the insomniac had been unable to fight sleep – or the nightmares that came with it.

_I didn't want you to know._

Ryuuga didn't have to say the words aloud. Light could infer what was left unspoken. Ryuuga didn't want anyone knowing about his dreams; he was embarrassed by them. Was he afraid Light would judge him?

It was so odd... Ryuuga seemed so aware of his problems. It was unlike the other patients. He was different. Light couldn't help but feel that, despite all of his quirky mannerisms, Ryuuga didn't belong at Lawliet Institute. Which unveiled a new question: if nothing was wrong with him, what was he doing there?

"... Do you believe in monsters, Light-kun?"

Light wondered if this was a sort of trick question. Many things could be referred to as monsters – not just terrible-looking creatures. It would be flat-out lie for him to say that he didn't, because he fully believed in Shinigami – had seen and spoke with one personally. But Ryuuga didn't know that, nor did Light feel he needed to know that.

So he said that, no, he didn't believe in monsters. Monsters were simply the products of children's overactive imaginations – nothing that grown men needed to be pondering about, much less worrying over.

Ryuuga's thin lips twitched upwards slightly into a faint smile, his head bowing. "I used to think so too..."

Light had a feeling that this conversation had everything to do with the nightmare his roommate just experienced. He sighed and raked his fingers through his hair. "Should I take it that Hideki-san believes in the boogieman?"

The black-haired man's expression did not change. "Perhaps." The smile faded. "But more so, I believe in devils."

"Devils..?"

"Evil creatures," Ryuuga elaborated, "that seduce and take lives without a second thought. Shinigami..."

Light kept a passive face at the word, but his did appear mildly surprised at the other's next example.

"... KIRA."

Ryuuga looked pensive for a moment, before asking, "does Light-kun believe in KIRA?"

Light and turned his focus elsewhere. There was no way that... He had to be paranoid... But it seemed as if Ryuuga was _interrogating _him.

He couldn't lie with this question. Everyone believed in KIRA – whether they supported him or not was an entirely different matter. There was no question about KIRA's existence.

"Of course," he answered slowly, "it's impossible to think KIRA isn't real."

_KIRA is Justice. Everyone knows this – everyone believes this._

Ryuuga nodded in agreement, and didn't ask anything more. Light once again felt utterly exposed, as though he were being watched intently even while Ryuuga was looking elsewhere.

_What are you doing, Hideki Ryuuga?  
__  
What do you want from me? _

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_Lawli: The apple quote from this chapter is from a Moroccan proverb. I hope everyone enjoyed the chapter! Please tell me if there are any spelling or grammar errors that I didn't catch. Also, of course, tell me your thoughts on the chapter -- what you like or didn't like._

_... The purple button is calling you! Review, please!!_


	4. Amane Misa

_Lawli: Happy (belated) birthday to myself! XD I was hoping to get this chapter done before my birthday, but as usual things don't go the way I plan. Oh well. At least I updated in time for the weekend. Good thing too, or else this chapter wouldn't be arriving until next week. _

_As always, a special thank you goes out to everyone who read -- and especially to those who reviewed -- the last chapter. I am seriously honored by all of the positive feedback I have been getting for this fanfic, and I hope this story continues to live up to all of your expectations!! _

_Oh. The WRITER and her CRAFT was wondering if this story contains yaoi between L and Light. To be honest, when I first came up with the idea to the story I decided I wanted to make it LxLight (or LightxL, whatever). But now as I'm actually planning it out more, it seems I'm having a bit of trouble actually incorporating the pairing into story. I do know that I want there to be a deep relationship between L and Light, but whether it will be romantic or not is still undecided. I really hope that doesn't turn anyone away from the fic... heh..._

_I've kept you long enough. Please read and enjoy the chapter - and don't forget to leave a review, because they make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. _

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**Chapter Three -- Amane Misa.**

_The sound of bare feet shuffling along the tiled floors echoed off of the white-washed walls. She ran as fast as he short legs could carry her, blocking out the distracting sound of the alarm. Her heart fluttered wildly against her ribs, chest heaving, and the door was so close..._

_Pale fingers brushed against the cold metal door handle and a grin appeared on her face._

_So close..._

_The smile faded, her face contorting as a white-hot pain shot through her entire body, causing her hair to stand on end and her legs to give out underneath the weight of her shocked form. _

_Someone was yelling and taking hold of her arms. She screamed and thrashed and fought valiantly to get away._

_The door..._

_If only she could reach it, if only... if only..._

"_Let me go! Papa – Papa, help me!"_

_A shadow fell over her. Dull, gray eyes peered up hopefully, only to be greeted by a passive face. _

"_Doctor?" someone asked, and the blank-faced man seemed to jerk out of a trance._

"_Take her back to her room, Aizawa-san." _

_Aizawa nodded and set out to do as instructed, slowly leading the patient back to where she'd tried to escape from. _

"_I hate you!" she was crying. "I hate you, Doctor! I hope the monster kills you – I hope you die!" Her voice was cracking by the end of her outburst. A helpless sob escaped her throat. "Papa..."_

_The doctor watched, emotionless, as she was guided away. Then he passed the stun-gun in his hands to the gray-haired man beside him. "Excuse me for a moment, Watari."_

_Watari bowed and proceeded to walk in a separate direction. The doctor willed himself not to be affected by his patient's words. _

_- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
__...The quickest route  
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Red lights flashed sporadically, a piecing alarm blaring. Doctor L Lawliet cast his dark eyes to the television screens lining the wall opposite of his desk. He could see guards springing into action.

"Doctor Lawliet," a voice he recognized easily as Aizawa's rang through the speaker phone. "Patient 5471 is escaping."

L glanced to the phone, then reached over and tapped one of the colored buttons to reply. "She is heading to the White Wing," he informed, gazing intently at the slender blonde-haired woman on screen four. "Please escort her to Examination Room B."

Not bothering for to wait for a response, the young man turned back to the tea he'd abandoned after the alarm had sounded. A frown appeared on his face as he realized it had grown too cold for his liking, and he pushed the cup and saucer aside. And he waited.

"_One day, I promise I'll save you." _His own words rang through his ears, as obtrusive and annoying as the alarm that resounded just outside the doors of his office. That promise, made so long ago... It almost looked as if it would never be made a reality.

"_I hope you die!"_

L hung his head, charcoal eyes momentarily falling shut. His heart hurt, just thinking about that day. He briefly wondered if this sort of pain was what those targeted by KIRA felt just before they died. This sense of dread... the constricting in his chest. Was he dying? Was this mystery killing him?

"_I hope you die!"_

_I hope you die, I hope you die, I hope you __**die**_

"_Papa..."_

"Doctor Lawliet?"

Aizawa's voice was enough to yank L out from the stupor he'd fallen into. Blinking rapidly the doctor picked up the phone with three of his fingers and held it a safe distance away from his ear. "Do you have her?" he asked.

"Yes," Aizawa answered. "We cornered her at the entrance of the White Wing and she is now safely in the examination room. Her wrists are bound –"

"—That is not necessary," L interrupted quickly, for he could see a little girl restrained at the limbs staring up at him pleadingly.

"_Papa..."_

"But, Doctor..."

"_Papa, help me! Don't make me stay here – I don't want to be here! You promised me!"_

"I would appreciate it if you do as I ask, Aizawa-san."

"_I'm not giving up on you... I promise... One day, I promise I'll save you."_

_She was silent for a few minutes, and he thought that was the end of it. But then, suddenly, she smiled and looked up at him, an odd gleam in her eyes. "Did you know, doctor?" she asked, saying his title in a mocking tone. "Shinigami only eat apples."_

_Shinigami... not again. _

"_...Shinigami don't exist."_

"_Yes they do. Yes they do, doctor. And they'll kill you one day. They'll kill you for making me stay in this awful place! They'll kill you for letting me die here!"_

The man on the other end of the line seemed hesitant, but finally he ordered whoever else was in the examination room with him to free the girl's arms.

"Thank you, Aizawa-san."

Aizawa merely grunted before changing the subject. "Watari-san is here in place of you, I am assuming?"

"Yes, and if the equipment is set up I would very much like to begin. Tell the patient to take a seat on the sofa, and then let her and Watari be. Station two guards outside the door just in case she tries to run again."

Agreeing to this, Aizawa hung up the phone and L could see through the TV monitors that he was complying with those requests. L delicately placed the phone on the receiver and repositioned himself on his chair so that he was comfortable. His spidery hands found their favored resting spot upon his knees and blankly he watched Patient 5471 seat herself on the beige couch, a frown on her pretty face.

Once he was certain everyone except the specified two persons had exited the room, L cleared his throat and leaned forward, speaking into a small microphone connected to his private computer.

"Patient 5471 –"

"I have a name," she interrupted, raising her chin slightly so her nose stuck up in the air. "And I would appreciate knowing who I am speaking to."

L sighed. "Forgive me. My name is Ryuuzaki," he introduced himself in a bland voice. "Amane-san, but I am going to be direct with you even if this is my first time speaking with you. For several months now I have been in charge of observing both you and Patient number 5472, with whom I believe you are very well acquainted. In that time, I have discovered several things about you: you are very beautiful, which I initially imagined you would be, because it says in your papers that you are a model. Aside from that, you are quite a bit more intelligent than you let on. You are a perfect woman, which leads me to wonder what exactly you are doing here at Lawliet."

"You're the professional here, doctor. Why don't you tell me?" Amane Misa asked, smiling coyly.

"Well it says in your record that you were charged with being the Second KIRA but found innocent. In a letter from your manager – who recommended you to us – it says that you had been suffering from hallucinations and had been witnessed talking to a non-present person, referring to 'her' as Rem."

Misa appeared nervous, but she quickly covered it up. "I-I don't know what you're talking about. I don't hallucinate."

L ignored her. "Who is Rem?" he demanded to know.

"I don't know a Rem!"

"I kindly ask that you be honest with me, Amane-san. I have tapes of you during your confinement, and in them you are clearly conversing with someone that is not there – someone you called Rem, who you pleaded to kill you to save you from your misery."

Misa's blue eyes widened incredulously as she apparently realized that there was nothing she could say to defend herself if the doctor already had evidence available to disprove her words. She gaped, fish-mouthing for several seconds before hanging her head. There was nothing she could say.

L felt a little bit of sympathy towards her. Really, aside from a few loose screws in the head (one who experienced hallucinations could not exactly be called sane, after all) Misa seemed to be a normal girl. The black-haired man highly doubted that she was a threat to society. Like Yagami Light, L had a difficult time coming up with a reason for why Amane Misa would be committed to Lawliet Institute.

"_There's a monster..."_

Those hallucinations... they seemed to be the cause of everything.

_What if they weren't hallucinations?_

The thought tumbled around L's mind and he allowed himself several minutes to mull over it, bringing a thumb to his mouth and passing it thoughtfully across his bottom lip.

_What if the monsters are really there? What if it's the same thing I've been afraid of all along? _

"_It's going to kill me like it did Mummy! It's going to kill me and Papa!"_

_Shinigami..._

No! No, he couldn't believe that. There was no way L would accept the evidence of supernatural creatures unless he had evidence. Cold, hard evidence. He could not jump to conclusions just because of the coincidence of a recurring symptom in his patients. Just because of her nightmares...

"Ryuuzaki-san?"

Misa's voice had lost its snotty edge, and she now sounded frail and scared. Gazing at her image in the monitor, L could see she had curled into herself slightly and drawn her arms around her shoulders.

"Am I crazy? Are you going to lock me up?"

L didn't answer right away, much to Misa's obvious chagrin. Instead, he chewed on his fingernail absentmindedly before repeating his question from earlier. "Who is Rem?"

Misa shook her head. "You wouldn't believe me if I told you. You would think I'm crazy."

"Please calm down, Amane-san. I never gave any indication that I thought you were crazy," L attempted to sooth her. "I am merely asking a question, nothing more. Your answers will not be used against you."

"Misa isn't crazy..."

"No, she is not," L agreed. "She is a beautiful, normal young woman. But lately she has been seeing things that do not exist, and I only wish to help her."

Misa's head shot up and she glared into the camera angrily. "MisaMisa is not crazy! Rem really exists! Rem is here, right now even! She's here and I have her eyes and I swear to God I am not imagining things, Doctor!"

Realizing he was getting nowhere fast in this interrogation, L released a heavy breath through his nose. At this rate, he would not be able to get any information out of her. This was a waste of time, and his patience was reaching its limit. Observation was the only approach that seemed to birth results, and so observation he would have to fall back on.

"Amane-san," he called out, efficiently capturing her attention. "Would you allow me to schedule for you to meet another patient of mine?"

"Another patient..?" Misa echoed, confused. "Who?"

L's lips twitched upwards into a tiny smile. "Her name is Geneviéve," he told her.

_- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
__means a taste of Forbidden Fruit  
__- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -_

That evening, Yagami Light noticed that Ryuuga barely touched the food on his tray. Considering that the black-haired man's tray was loaded down with his favorite sweets, this struck his roommate as peculiar. Something was obviously very wrong with Ryuuga if he was refusing his dinner. Setting aside his own plate, Light turned to face the other male, a brown eyebrow rising inquisitively.

"Hideki-san?"

There was no response, and this greatly worried Light. Normally his roommate was quick to respond to the sound of his own name, even after falling subject to one of his typical dazes. So why the sudden change?

"Hideki-san?" he tried again, a bit louder. After a third calling – where he'd raised his voice to a nearly yelling point – Ryuuga shook himself and snapped his head in Light's direction, staring at him with wide, blank eyes.

"Yes, Light-kun?"

Light cast his own gaze to the floor, staring at Ryuuga's toes which spasmodically wriggled. "Is something the matter? You seem out of it tonight." Not that he cared. It was just strange to see Ryuuga so unfocused.

"I apologize, Light-kun," Ryuuga said quietly. "There are many things on my mind this evening."

"Oh." And, just because it seemed like the right thing to do, he asked: "anything you want to talk about?"

Ryuuga offered him a sad smile. "Thank you, but it is nothing Light-kun would understand."

Light resisted the urge to snort, figuring this had something to do with the nightmare his roommate suffered the previous evening, and that Ryuuga was just too embarrassed to bring the subject back up. "Well if it is nothing, I think I am going to go to sleep," Light informed as he settled into his bed, closing his eyes.

Ryuuga nodded and bid him pleasant dreams. But sleep did not come to Light as easily as he hoped it would. He lay under the blankets, slowing his breathing and feigning unconsciousness. But after pretending brought him no closer to his goal, he decided on opening his eyes and staring at the only thing available to stare at – Ryuuga.

Ryuuga stared back, with those blank raccoon-like eyes of his, and when morning came and Light awoke (for sleep eventually did claim him) Ryuuga was not there.

* * *

_Lawli: The apple quote in this chapter is from the song "In Pursuit of Excellence" from the musical Children of Eden. _

_I hope people don't hate me for bringing in an OC. She is essential to the story, and I really don't think she is a Mary-Sue._

_Anyways. This chapter was definately the hardest for me to write so far, and to be honest I'm still not very pleased with the way this chapter turned out... and I am pretty sure I need to go back and proof read, because it is rather late so there's a major chance that I've made spelling and grammar errors. _


	5. Geneviéve

_Lawli: This was a fairly quick update for me. I'm surprised at myself, haha. As usual, **thank you so much** to everyone who read (and especially to those who reviewed) the last chapter! I would especially like to thank The WRITER and her CRAFT for leaving me such beautiful reviews that I feel completely unworthy of receiving. _

_In response to 30Kyu's review: Yes - Ryuuga, Ryuuzaki, and L are all the same person. Ryuuga and Ryuuzaki are two of the aliases he goes by in both the anime and the manga, so I used them as his aliases in this fic as well. :)_

_I won't hold you back any longer. Please read and enjoy, and don't forget to leave me a review to tell me what you think of the chapter -- what you liked/didn't like, or anything else you'd like to share. _

**

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**

**Chapter Four: Geneviève.**

It was love at first sight, according to supermodel Amane Misa. From the very first moment she laid eyes on the brilliant and handsome Yagami Light, she knew he was The One. The only man to whom her heart would ever belong – the man she would devote her life to. He was perfect in every way; flawless looks matched by a righteous personality. He was the ideal boyfriend and Misa vowed to make him hers.

It had taken more than just subtle flirting to capture Light's attention, for as the Chief of Police's son he was a noble and smart man who looked for more in a woman than just a pretty face. For Misa, this made it more difficult to catch his eye. She was not the smartest person in the world, nor was she anywhere close to being so – both facts which she knew and accepted. Intellectually, she had little to offer him. However, there was a certain physical attribute she possessed that did the trick of luring him in.

Her eyes.

At birth she'd been blessed with lovely blue eyes – a rarity in Japan. And behind these lightly-tinted lay something even more splendid and beautiful than their crystal color...

_Power_. The power to see... see more than just the world around her, more than what the average human saw. With her eyes – the eyes Light loved so, so much and used to remind her of on a daily basis – could look straight into a person, perceive them for what they truly were. With a single glance she was capable of learning vital facts about other humans – their names and life spans – and it was this special talent that awarded her a place in Yagami Light's heart.

Yagami Light was an idealist. He could look at the world and recognize with ease the changes that needed to be made. He knew of the scum that plagued the world and it was his sole desire to purge the Earth of their sorry existences. He had the ability to do so, and so made it his mission in life to cleanse the world of all impurities. As the woman who loved him, Misa adopted this as her mission as well. She did not need to be asked; she was perfectly willing to aid him in murder if it meant keeping her place in his life – if it meant she could be useful to him. Allowing him to use her eyes was the least she could do to repay him for the impact he had in her life, as well as the life of every other human who knew the name KIRA.

Not even a year after her commitment to Lawliet, Misa was devastated to learn of Light's own capture. Their dream had always seemed surreal to her, but in that moment it seemed completely unattainable. Trapped in a mental institution, unable to communicate with her lover... the vision of their perfect world felt so far away.

So far...

She came close to snapping. Early on during her stay at Lawliet, she'd been placed in solitary confinement. Alone, all alone – Misa hated being alone; it was her biggest fear – with only a scrambled computer voice talking to her...

"_Do you know why you're here?"_

"_Are you the second KIRA?"_

"_How does he kill?"_

"_Do you know your lover is to be brought here as well? Yagami Light was convicted as KIRA and pleaded insanity... he will also be put in confinement. Probably for a much longer time than you."_

_Light..._

Light...

...KIRA...

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
_The sweeter the apple,  
_- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

_Minutes ago, Rem informed her that the bugs in the room had been disconnected. There was no-one monitoring Amane Misa at the moment. This meant they could speak without arousing suspicion. The blonde-haired young woman was grateful for the opportunity, for she could finally ask Rem what she had been desiring to the last few days. _

"_Rem! Rem, I can't stand it..."_

"_Misa..."_

"_I can't take it... I'm so scared... please... please kill me!"_

_The Shinigami appeared before the bound girl, a shocked expression on her deathly white face. "Misa," she gasped, horrified by the idea of having to kill the woman she'd grown so fond of over the years. Misa was the world to Rem. The love Jealous possessed for the supermodel seemed to transfer to the skeletal God of Death after his death, and now..._

_Rem closed her eyes, the sorrow in her soul too much for her to bear. She was not accustomed to this sadness. She was not accustomed to feeling anything. But Misa... Misa was so innocent... If the girl had never fallen in love with the Yagami boy, she could have been so happy – living a carefree life as a Japanese idol; she would not be forced to stay in this prison..._

"_I am afraid I cannot do that," the Reaper refused, shaking her head._

_Misa's mouth fell open, a look of shock on her face. "Rem..."_

_The Shinigami ignored her rooms and instead brought up an alternative to the blonde's plan. "I cannot kill you, Misa, but I can... I can erase your memories. It won't hurt you – in fact, you won't even feel a thing. You will lose all your memories of ever having the Death Note, of ever meeting me."_

"_Light," Misa asked hopefully, "will I still remember Light?" _

_Rem's jaw clenched, an obvious look of distaste crossing her face. If she had it her way, she would erase the boy's existence from Misa's life. But to do that would be to make Misa unhappy – and such a crime was one that Rem could never bring herself to commit. "Yes," she answered in a flat tone._

"_Then Misa accepts. But Rem must promise me one thing." Feeling the Shinigami's single eye focusing on her intently, Misa elaborated. "She must promise to let Misa keep the eyes, so Misa can continue to be useful to Light." _

_Rem had no choice but to let Misa have her way. _

_It was all over in a matter of seconds, and Misa fell to the ground, unconscious. Rem stared down at the prone body, taking in the graceful curves of the feminine form and memorizing the perfect, innocent face. Rem knew that, one day, that day, that girl would be the cause of her death – for death was the only fate that awaited a Shinigami foolish enough to fall in love with a human. _

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_the blacker  
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When Doctor Ryuuzaki arranged for Amane Misa to meet with another of his patients, the former supermodel did not quite know what to think. On one hand, she was thrilled to be given a chance to socialize with another human being – though, she much rather would have preferred the company of her love, Yagami Light. On the other hand, she had to wonder about Doctor Ryuuzaki's true reason for setting up the engagement. Was it just another test? The staff at Lawliet Institute seemed rather fond of experiments...

A shudder coursed through her as memories of solitary confinement wriggled to the forefront of her mind.

Perhaps... a small portion of Misa's subconscious strived to believe that the doctor was simply acting out of the goodness of his heart by allowing the deprived young woman a chance for social interaction, but a much larger part of her refuted this idea. No-one in the world (especially not a doctor at Lawliet Institute) acted out of kindness anymore. Everyone always had a hidden motivation. With the exception of her love and her idol, there were no good people left in the world.

"This way, MisaMisa," instructed a young doctor – Matsuda Touta, a big fan, as he'd introduced himself when they'd met several months ago – as he led her down the impossibly white hallway.

Ever since her release from confinement, Matsuda had been in charge of managing her daily affairs – escorting her to the cafeteria or the rec room, bringing her medicine when it was required, and all-in-all waiting on her hand and foot as if he were her humble servant instead of a physician. She supposed long ago that he was new to the job, considering his willing servitude to her just because she used to pose for the cameras.

After walking for several minutes, Misa noticed that they had entered a different sector of the institute – one she had never been to before. Tilting her head to the side, she questioned where they were.

"A-ah, MisaMisa has never been to the White Wing before," Matsuda recalled, looking over his shoulder to smile at her politely. "That doesn't surprise me. There is only one patient in the White Wing."

"...Only one..." Misa echoed, the piece of information catching her interest. Why would there be a whole division for only one patient? That didn't make much sense. Then again, a lot of things at Lawliet Institute made no sense.

Matsuda nodded his head, pausing as he came to a set of metal doors. Sliding his identification key card into the appropriate slot, he was able to immediately gain access to what lay beyond, and in no time they were moving forward. "Not many people know about Geneviève," he was saying, and Misa listened intently to every word. "In fact, only a handful of people here have met her."

"And am I the first person who isn't a doctor to visit her?"

The young man thought about it for a moment. "To the best of my knowledge."

"Doesn't she have any family that comes to see her?" Misa asked.

Matsuda blinked and glanced over at the girl before slowly shaking his head. "I'm afraid not. The only family she has is her father, and... Well, she won't let him visit anymore."

Misa frowned, finding that rather depressing. How could a person push away their own father? Obviously Geneviève didn't know what it felt like to lose something as precious as a parent; if she did, she would never refuse to see her father.

"Here we are," Matsuda declared, indicating a white door.

Misa noticed that just to the left of the door was a large panel of glass – most likely a one-way mirror, so that those inside of the room could be spied on without actually knowing it.

After Matsuda promised that he would wait outside, Misa entered the room, the door closing softly behind her. In her mind, she had been trying to picture what the girl might be like. She figured it would probably be someone her own age, only most likely a less attractive.

_Some crazy girl_, she presumed_, because Doctor Ryuuzaki thinks I'm crazy, even if he doesn't want to admit it. _

Instead of a raving lunatic, Misa was greeted by the sight of a young girl who barely looked older than eight years old. The child was sitting before a low table, hunched over it slightly and drawing on a sheet of plain lined paper; her light brown hair and pale skin served as indicators that she was not a natural-born Japanese citizen – though, Misa could easily deduce this just by hearing the girl's odd name, she didn't need to physically see her.

As she stepped further into the room, the girl looked up and Misa was met with a pair wide, empty black eyes gazed with such a burning intensity that she found herself speechless. For several moments, Misa struggled to find her voice. After clearing her throat, she took several paces forward and introduced herself.

"Hello," she greeted, a little awkwardly. Normally Misa was good around people, but this little girl made her feel very uncomfortable for some reason.

The girl's voice was toneless and soft, and Misa had to strain just to hear it. "Hello."

The black crayon in the girl's small hand continued to scrawl across the blank page in front of her. Misa craned her neck forward, trying to catch a glimpse of what it was she was scribbling with such fervor, but the only thing she could make out were what appeared to be markings of the English alphabet.

"... Are you Geneviève?" the supermodel asked, though the answer was quite apparent. She could see the girl's name clearly.

And besides, who else would this be, other than the girl Doctor Ryuuzaki arranged for her to meet with?

Geneviève nodded her head once. "And you are Amane Misa," she said without looking up from her paper.

"You know my name?" Misa asked, shocked.

The little girl smiled and turned her eerie black eyes upwards. "I was informed that you would be coming," she explained.

Misa's lips formed an 'o' of understanding and, slowly, she lowered herself onto the carpeted floor so that she sat just opposite of Geneviève. Seconds ticked by and nothing was said. The idol's blue eyes wandered over to the page of lined paper, and now thanks to her vantage point she could see what was written there.

_**LAWLIET **_

The name of the institute? What a strange thing to write...

The word was printed in big, irate bold letters and all down the page it repeated, at least ten times.

_**LAWLIET  
**__**LAWLIET  
**__**LAWLIET  
**__**LAWLIET  
LAWLIET  
**__**LAWLIET  
**__**LAWLIET  
**__**LAWLIET  
**__**LAWLIET  
LAWLIET**_

A frustrated sound escaped from Geneviève's throat and in a fit of anger she threw her crayon across the room and then fell forward, burying her face in her arms. Misa jumped a little out of reflex before staring down at the young girl in concern.

"Geneviève?" she asked softly, rethinking her idea that the girl might just be insane after all. Surely Doctor Ryuuzaki did not think that she had the same kind of mental disorder as this child! Misa was perfectly normal... "Geneviéve?"

"It won't work," was Geneviève's muffled response. "I keep writing his name but it won't work..."

"What won't work?"

"The Notebook," Geneviève cried, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. "I keep writing his name down, but..." her eyes flickered upwards briefly, locking with Misa's own, and she sucked in a deep breath. "You... you have the eyes!"

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_the core.  
_- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

It was a good five hours after lunch that Hideki Ryuuga returned to his and Yagami Light's shared room, and when he finally roved inside the brown-haired boy immediately noticed the fatigue that clung to him. No words were uttered between them as Ryuuga made his way over to his twin-sized bed and ungracefully collapsed onto it.

For several moments, he laid there in complete silence, unmoving, and then he drew his knees up to his chest and wrapped an arm around them to keep them in place. He captured the thumb of his free hand between his lips and began to suck on it slowly; black eyes narrowing in such a way that Light could tell a million disorderly yet structured thoughts were racing across his mind.

Light watched him, a perplexed look on his face, and wondered what it was that could be stressing the other man out so much.

After what seemed to be eons of silence, Ryuuga raised his head and snatched Light's gaze. For a moment, he just stared at the younger male before his chapped lips parted and he spoke.

"What does Light-kun know about Shinigami?"

Light blinked, and then blinked again, confused by the question. But he should have known that Ryuuga never asked anything normal. Just the other day the man had been asking if he believed in monsters or not. Did this also have to do with his nightmares? Raking a hand through his hair, Light told him the truth. "Probably just as much as you do. They're gods of death - grim reapers – that extend their own lives by taking the lives of human beings."

"Yes," Ryuuga agreed with a slight nod, "but... what do you know about their eyes?"

Light decided that he did not like the incisive manner in which Ryuuga stared at him. It was unnerving, to say the least, and made him feel as if his roommate definitely knew something that he did not. With the way his eyes were always blank, and how he sucked on his thumb as if he were an infant, it was easy to make the mistake of presuming that Ryuuga was 'not all there' mentally.

But as he gazed at the other now, taking in Ryuuga's sloppy features, Light _knew_. Ryuuga was smart – much, much smarter than he initially believed – and each of his actions and words were well planned out and always had meaning behind them. Ryuuga had a secret, and just now was Light beginning to realize that that secret had something (or everything) to do with himself.

* * *

_Lawli: The apple quote in this chapter is from Dorothy Parker. _

_Yay! Matsuda has appeared in the story. Though I'm afraid he doesn't play a very big role, I couldn't resist adding him in. I just love him too much to leave him out of my first-ever DN fanfic. -hugs Matsuda- And Rem was in the chapter as well, yay! _

_So that's all for this chapter. Now..._

_See the purple down there? It's calling out to you -- telling you to review. You should listen to it. :) Reviews and constructive criticism are greatly appreciated!!_


	6. Apple Seed, 2

_Lawli: This chapter would have been out sooner, but ever since I returned from Metrocon I've been in a depressed mood and haven't been able to summon the motivation to write until just yesterday._

_As most of you have probably already noticed, I've taken a few creative liberties and changed around some of the rules applying to the Death Note. This is an AU fanfic, after all, so not everything is bound to be the same as it is in the series. So Misa is able to keep her Shinigami eyes even though she no longer has her memories of the Death Note. But she can still see Rem -- though she does not remember any of the time she'd spent with her in the past. _

_In response to SunMoonAndSpoon's review: yes, Ryuuga and Dr. Lawliet are the same person. Just like in the anime and manga, L uses the name Ryuuga (and Ryuuzaki as well) as an alias. _

_In response to Iron Chief's review: I have taken bits and pieces of scenes from the anime and manga and incorporated into this fanfic... But I don't intend for this story to follow down the same path that the original storyline went. This is an AU fanfiction, so things are going to change. _

_I would like to give a special thank-you to Akito-Aya, who pointed out the correct spelling of Geneviève_

* * *

**Chapter Five – Apple Seed.**

"_Ryuk," Light found himself asking one night after watching the latest news development on the KIRA case, "if I give up possession of the Death Note, I'll lose my memories. Won't I?"_

_The God of Death tilted his head to the side, laughed, and then shrugged his shoulders. "I guess so."_

_Light suspected so. A sigh passed through his lips as he gazed at the muted television in front of him. He was officially a suspect... on the way home from To-Oh University he'd noticed someone trailing him. The police were getting too close for comfort. Light needed to make a move._

"_There has to be a way that I can keep my memories. Even if I'm caught, I want to remember all of my accomplishments up until that point. Besides, being caught doesn't necessarily mean the end."_

"_That's true," Ryuk agreed. "It wouldn't be interesting if Light forfeited after KIRA's capture." _

_Light reached over to the half-eaten bag of chips at his side, taking a chip and raising it to his mouth. "What if I gave the note to you, to let someone else borrow? There's nothing in the rules against that, is there? I wouldn't technically be giving up ownership, after all, so my memories would have to stay in tact."_

"_Right."_

_A smirk appeared on Light's face as he rethought his initial plans. In case of an emergency, he would let the Shinigami lend the Note to someone – anyone – the would benefit him in the long run. In exchange, Ryuk would receive a generous payment of apples and entertainment. It was almost the same as their preliminary agreement, with the exception of the few added bonuses that erased any downsides there might have been. _

"_Onii-san!"_

_Sayu's shrill voice broke through his inner musings. Light sat up straighter in his bed, inclining his head towards the door. _

"_Onii-san, father is home!"_

_Taking that as a hint to go downstairs, Light stood up, stretched, and exited the bedroom. Ryuk followed behind him like a pet, the clownish smile ever-present on his face._

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
_The apple does not fall  
_- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"You know a lot about the supernatural, don't you, Hideki-san?"

Light watched with slight amusement as Ryuuga licked chocolate mousse off of his spoon. The black-haired man was sitting against the headboard of his bed, picking at the assortment of treats his tray was laden with. On the opposite end of the same mattress, Light was comfortably situated with his legs crossed and an empty plate in his lap.

To be honest, the brunette male was surprised by how quickly he'd grown accustom to Ryuuga's presence in his life, and he could even go as far as to say he enjoyed rooming with the other man. While it was true Ryuuga had some odd quirks about him, Light found them less annoying than he originally did, and he actually had a difficult time imagining Ryuuga any other way.

He could still be a nuisance – what, with his recurring nightmares and all – and Light was still highly suspicious of his intentions, but... dare he say it, Ryuuga was beginning to grow on him.

Extracting the spoon – now spotless – from his mouth, Ryuuga shrugged. "Not really. I'm more curious than anything. I want to know more about Shinigami – about their eyes, about why they have played such a role in my life when I have never even seen one before."

Light wanted to point out that Shinigami were only creatures from myths – despite the fact that he knew better – but decided otherwise. Instead, he posed a new question.

"Is that why you're here?"

Ryuuga told him once that he was haunted. Did Reapers haunt him? In his dreams, perhaps; maybe Ryuuga's nightmares were plagued with Shinigami.

For several moments, he was met only with silence. Ryuuga seemed unwilling to share information about himself – he never wanted to give out details concerning why he was committed to Lawliet, and Light was dying to know why. He was dying to know Ryuuga – who the man was, _really_ was. There had to bee more to him than a sweet tooth and frightening dreams; Light knew there was more.

Pushing his tray aside, Light shifted closer to Ryuuga, who in turn glanced over at him with those incredibly wide, unblinking eyes. Light offered him a smile to quell any worries his roommate might have.

"Let's not talk about Shinigami today," Light suggested. "Let's talk about Hideki-san instead."

Ryuuga seemed generally surprised by this proposal. He pointed to himself with one long, bony finger and asked hesitantly, "me?" When his inquiry was affirmed, the young man glanced away uncomfortably. "But, Light-kun... I'm afraid there isn't much to say."

Light rolled his eyes. "Only because you aren't used to saying much. Come on, Ryuuga, we've been rooming together for such a long time now. So why can't I know anything about you?"

If Ryuuga was offended by the other man's usage of his first name alone, he didn't say or do anything to show it. He merely shoved a spoonful more of mousse into his mouth. "Why does Light-kun want to know about me?" he wondered aloud, voice muffled around the food.

Light tried to hide his aggravation, finding Ryuuga's evasions both immature and annoying. "Maybe so we can be friends," he replied, teeth clenched.

This truly caught the fair-skinned male off guard. The spoon almost fell from his hand as he softly echoed the word. "Friends... Light-kun wants to be my friend."

Light didn't say anything, only gave a slight nod of the head. He predicted that the only way Ryuuga would open up to him was if their relationship grew deeper than that of 'just roommates'.

Ryuuga helped himself to another bite of his treat. "I've... never had a friend," he mused, voice distant and barely audible.

He bowed his head, and Light debated mentally whether or not he liked this strange side of Ryuuga. Leaning back against the headboard again, Ryuuga released a slow breath through his nose. "What does my friend Light-kun wish to know about me?" he finally asked.

Light grinned. "Well... how old are you?"

Ryuuga answered immediately. "Twenty-seven."

Twenty-seven... Light figured Ryuuga was older than him, but he had never guessed it would be a seven year gap that separated them. In no way did Ryuuga look (or act) as though he were advancing on thirty.

"Do you have any brothers or sisters?"

"Not that I am aware of."

Light raised an eyebrow, finding that an odd response to the question. How could one not be aware of any siblings the had? Unless they suffered from amnesia or any other disease that related to memory lost. Considering they were, in fact, in a mental institution, Light was not so quick to dismiss that explanation.

"Are you married?"

Ryuuga opened his mouth, then quickly snapped it shut again. The auburn-haired male observed as the older wriggled his toes and played with the spoon in his hand, taking the last bite of mousse while he was at it.

Ryuuga then shook his head. "Not anymore."

"Not anymore?" Light repeated.

Someone actually married Ryuuga. In Light's mind, the idea sounded absolutely laughable. True, he tolerated and was beginning to enjoy Ryuuga's company, and such habits as his sweets-eating did make him endearing to a certain extent, but... but how could anyone ever go as far as to fall in love with such a man as Hideki Ryuuga? Unless they were blind...

"Not anymore," Ryuuga said a final time. "She's dead now. My wife, that is."

_Dead..._

Light felt a tiny bit of guilt eat away at his insides. Ryuuga was a widow.

"A monster killed her."

The discussion ended after that. Light found himself unwilling to know about Ryuuga's wife, and even more unwilling to delve back into the topic of monsters and Shinigami. Ryuuga did not appear disappointed at the subject's quick drop; if anything he was pleased, and Light understood why if such was the case. Speaking about his dead wife was most likely not enjoyable and undoubtedly caused unwanted memories to resurface. Now Light recognized why Ryuuga was always so reluctant to talk about his past.

_This world is filled with suffering,_ the brunette concluded as he stood from the bed and made his way to the opposite side of the room. As always, Ryuuga watched his movements like a hawk eyeing its prey.

_KIRA could eliminate suffering. Whatever killed your wife, Hideki-san... if KIRA had existed then, such a thing would not have happened. Monsters aren't allowed to live in KIRA's perfect world. _

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
_far from the tree.  
_- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"_You have the Eyes..."_

Misa did not quite know what to make of Geneviève.

The girl creeped her out, there was no denying that. At the same time, however, she managed to capture the blonde's interest. They both had something in common, after all... They both knew of the existence of Shinigami – they could both _see_ Shinigami – and they both were avid supporters of the mass-murderer known as KIRA. And it was that same deep love and support they had for their hero that landed them both in Lawliet Institute.

"_My father hates KIRA,"_ Geneviève had explained gravely, later on during their meeting. _"He says KIRA is no better than the monsters that killed my mother. But I just think he's afraid. He's afraid of being wrong... he didn't believe in Shinigami, even when he saw one, and he didn't believe in me. Now he's locked me in this place because he still doesn't want to be wrong."_

_Geneviève bowed her head, her small hands moving to wrap around herself in a hug. "My father is an evil man. I want him dead... I want to have KIRA's powers so I can kill him myself. The Shinigami won't help me, and I don't want to make the Trade." _

Misa bit down on her lower lip. She already managed to predict what the girl would ask of her, and immediately she was against the idea. Even if Geneviève's father sounded like a bad father, the idol had no doubt that he only loved and wanted best for his daughter. After all, he was a parent; that was what all parents wanted for their children, right? The best... Even if it meant sacrificing their own happiness.

Matsuda's voice rang in her ears.

"_The only family she has is her father, and... Well, she won't let him visit anymore."_

She was not like Geneviève. She did not have the slightest idea why Doctor Ryuuzaki suspected she was. While they both believed in Shinigami and loved KIRA, Misa never felt the desire to kill an innocent human being – unlike this child, who wanted to do away with her own father, the only one in her family that still remained with her.

"_Geneviève, I'm sure you don't really hate your father..."_

"_I do!" the girl snapped, black eyes hardening. "I hate him!"_

"_... You can't really want him dead."_

"_I wish I could kill him right now! If I knew his name –"_

"_He's your father. He loves you..."_

"_He's never loved anyone. He didn't even lover Mummy – he didn't even cry when she died!"_

Not long after those words were spoken, Matsuda entered the room and told Misa that they should probably leave. Misa, still disturbed by the hatred that consumed Geneviève's young mind, did not protest and allowed Matsuda to escort back to her room. Before the young doctor left, however, he informed the former supermodel that Ryuuzaki would be rescheduling a meeting with Geneviève.

"Why?" Misa asked, staring up at the black-haired doctor. "Why does he want me to spend time with her?"

Matsuda looked uncertain himself, scratching the back of his head and laughing nervously. "He thinks MisaMisa might be a good influence on her," was his guess. "You'll have to ask Ryuuzaki-san himself if you really want to know. MisaMisa is a nice, pretty girl, and Ryuuzaki-san really wants to help you. I'm sure he has your interests in mind when he sets these arrangements up."

Misa couldn't be so sure. Ryuuzaki was another character that caused her to feel uneasy. But still, he was her doctor, so she had no choice but to follow his instructions blindly.

But perhaps seeing Geneviève again was not such a bad thing. If she got to spend more time with the girl, maybe she would discover more sides to her than the spoiled brat she'd been in the presence of earlier in the day.

Still, the young woman couldn't help but wish it was her boyfriend that Doctor Ryuuzaki was arranging for her to meet...

Before Matsuda could exit, the blonde reached forward and grasped on to his arm. The young man stilled, his body becoming rigid, and a light blush coloring his cheeks. Slowly, he turned around to face her, reddening even further when he noticed how close she suddenly was to her.

"A-ahh..." he began nervously, always the stuttering fool when in the presence of beautiful women. "Misa..."

"Matsu," she asked, making sure to use the cutesy nickname she thought of for him, "Will MisaMisa ever get to see Light-kun?"

Matsuda licked his lips. "I-I don't know, MisaMisa." Noticing the crestfallen look on her face, he immediately said something to bring a smile back to her pretty lips. "I can talk to Ryuuzaki-san..."

Misa squealed in happiness, wrapping her arms around Matsuda and hugging him tightly, causing the doctor's face to become completely red. "Yaaaa! Matsu would do that for Misa?"

The man nodded quickly. "O-of course."

She brushed her lips against the smooth surface of his cheeks and he trembled at the contact. "MisaMisa is so happy!" she declared as she pulled away. "Matsu is so good to Misa!"

After stuttering out a quick "it's no big deal", Matsuda left the girl alone. Misa grinned and made her way over to her bed, situating herself comfortably on the springy mattress. Light's face swam to the surface of her mind and she couldn't help but sigh blissfully at the thought of seeing him again.

* * *

_Lawli: Hehehe, Matsuda. I love that guy too much... I couldn't resist putting him in this chapter either! __I hope everyone enjoyed this chapter. We got to learn a teeny bit more about L, at least. _

_Anyways... as always, please point out any spelling or grammar errors that I migt have made in the chapter. _

_And, of course, please leave a review! They make me oh-so-happy, and I really do love to hear what the readers think of the story. _


	7. Matsuda Touta

_Lawli: Everyone thank God that my computer died. Otherwise this chapter would not be getting to you, because I never would have been bored enough to write it out longhand had I the internet to distract me._

_I'd like to give a special thank-you to SunMoonAndSpoon for volunteering to be my Beta. I can't even begin to tell you how grateful I am! Thank you so much:)_

_As always, please read and enjoy the chapter - and don't forget to leave a review and tell me what you think!_

* * *

**Chapter Six – Matsuda Touta.**

Matsuda arrived early one morning several days later to bring Misa to breakfast, a large goofy smile plastered on his youthful face and a sparkle of pride lighting his eyesMisa noticed the slight bounce in his step as he walked and had to wonder what was going on in that childish mind of his. As she was just about to ask what was the matter – why he was so darn happy – they passed the cafeteria.

Misa stopped in her tracks, a puzzled frown replacing the neutral line her lips had fallen into. "Matsuda-san," she called, and the young doctor ceased his progression forwardturning to glance at her over his shoulder. "The cafeteria is right there," Misa pointed out, gesturing to the double doors with a somehow perfectly manicured fingernail.

The smile on Matsuda's face widened and he was now positively beaming at the woman. "You won't be eating in the cafeteria today, MisaMisa," he informed her, and Misa's curiosity heightened. Waving a hand, Matsuda began to walk again. "We're almost there, though. Trust me; you won't be disappointed."

Misa followed without objection, now quickening her pace as her excitement started to grow. She wouldn't be disappointed? What was Matsuda planning...?

Two left turns later, Misa found herself standing before a metal sliding door. It was unmarked, so she knew it could not lead to any sort of medical examination room.

"Here we are," Matsuda announced, though the fact was already made clear with their stopping.

Without delaying further, Matsuda slid the door open, allowing Misa entrance before himself. The startled gasp that escaped the patient was not unexpected, but the loud, girlish squeal that followed it certainly was.

" Matsu!"

"A-ah!" The physician stuttered as Misa's arms wound around his neck in a tight hug. Matsuda blushed, unable to help feeling so flustered when in the embrace of such a beautiful woman.

Considering that Misa's boyfriend was seated comfortably on the other side of the room – his intelligent brown eyes focused on the pair (in a manner not unlike those of a certain acclaimed doctor Matsuda was familiar with) – Matsuda figured it would not be wise to let on that he enjoyed Misa's company so much.

"MisaMisa is so happy to have good doctors like Matsu and Ryuuzaki-san!"

Yagami Light stood up from his chair, shaking loose threads of auburn hair from his eyes, and Matsuda wondered how such attractive people could be accused of committing felonies.

Both Misa and Light were charged with being, or being in cohorts with Kiraand were found innocent and let off the hook. Supposedly, even with the Chief of Police's stern arguments, the NPA and the other world organizations were still somewhat convinced of the young Yagami's guilt.

Matsuda himself did not know what to believe. He was not entirely knowledgeable on the aspects of the Kira case, but he did know quite a bit about the prime suspects. Both Amane Misa and Yagami Light lived ordinary (even extraordinary) lives. They held respectable positions in society, came from revered families; and their records up until their convictions were so clean that anyone could have considered them ideal citizens and excellent role models. Not only were they intelligent, wealthy, and successful, but they were also exceptionally attractive.

How could such a handsome, smart couple play the roles of Kira and Second Kira? Matsuda had trouble accepting such a thing. At the same time, however... nothing seemed to be wrong with the two, mentally. They were so obviously sane, and Matsuda failed to understand Doctor Lawliet's intense interest in the pair.

"Light!"

Matsuda broke from his thoughts in time to witness Misa launching herself into Light's arms. Misa's face was a picture of joy, love radiating from every pore in her body, and Matsuda felt a tiny bit uncomfortable in the presence of such extreme devotion.

Light, on the other hand, did not appear even half as pleased to see his girlfriend as his girlfriend was to see him. He wrapped his arms around Misa, yes – told her he missed her and held her body close to his own – but he never looked down at her. She clutched at the fabric of his shirt and told him how much she loved him and he stared up at the ceiling, bored, before reiterating the same words.

Matsuda was rather disturbed by the scene.

"...It's strange, isn't it?" Doctor Lawliet mused as Matsuda entered his private office after leaving the couple alone. The black-haired man was seated in his customary position, his hands resting on his knees comfortably and his eyes glues on the far right television screen, sparkling with subdued interest. "One would think Yagami-kun would be thrilled to see Amane-san after so long."

Matsuda closed the door softly behind him. "Maybe he knows there are cameras in the room," he suggested. "Some people don't like to show affection when they know they're being watched."

L nodded his head in agreement. "Yes... I understand that. However, to not even show a hint of emotion? I find that very strange..."

"This coming from the man who wears a poker face no matter what the occasion," Matsuda could not help but tease. When it came to expressions, L's face was always a stone slate – cold, unfeeling, and blank. And, given the rest of the odd quirks that comprised of his _unique_ (to phrase it politely) personality, Matsuda did not think L had the right to call anyone – especially some as obviously normal as Yagami Light – strange.

L's charcoal eyes stared unblinkingly at Matsuda for a moment as he raised a thumb to his mouth and began to suck on it in a manner not unlike an infant. "Hmm," he replied, once again focusing on the surveillance screen.

A sigh escaped the young doctor as he took L's silence for the worst. Normally his jokes were well-received around his friends and even most of his co-workers; L seemed to be the only person whose mood he could not lighten, no matter what he said or how hard he tried. But that was just L being L, he supposed. L was always solemn, especially when it came to his work; there was no time for jokes when his mind was at work.

Matsuda didn't know whether he should just leave or if he should say something else. Luckily, L decided to speak up.

"Do you think he loves her?" he asked, not looking at the other man even as he addressed him.

Of course L would return to that subject. Why couldn't he let this drop?

Matsuda shifted his gaze to the television screen displaying the attractive young pair. Misa and Light were seated at a small table, a dish of food and a drink before each of them. Light pushed the food around his plate, occasionally taking a bite, a contemplative look on his face while Misa talked animatedly, gesturing with her hands, alternating the pitch of her voice depending on the seriousness of the subject matter. Every so often, Light nodded his head or released a nondescript noise to give the impression that he was paying attention to what his girlfriend had to say. Misa remained oblivious that her words were falling on deaf ears.

Recalling the look of unabashed love and adoration that had lit up Misa's face when she saw her boyfriend for the first time in what Matsuda presumed was several months, he sighed. Misa's face in that instance was an expression of true love, whereas Light... Light's face was the picture of boredom – even now, when the two were alone. His attempts to seem interested in Misa were halfhearted, and even Matsuda, unmindful as he was, was able to notice.

Whether or not to admit this to L was the real question that concerned Matsuda. Since he was asking, L obviouslyknew the answer already... he just wanted someone to agree with him before he stated so. L always worked that way – sought supporters of his beliefs without stating those beliefs directly. And while Matsuda did agree with L on the fact that Light did not love Misa, somehow he knew that he would not like the train of thought that came with that idea.

L was most likely thinking up new ways to link the pair with KIRA and the Second KIRA – something Matsuda considered rather pointless now, bearing in mind that both suspects had been tried and released already.

Burying his hands in his coat pockets, Matsuda shook his head. "No," he said, "no I don't. But I really don't see what this has to do with anything..."

L moved quickly on to the next question. "Why do you think he would stay with her, if he so clearly doesn't love her?"

Wetting his lips and shifting his weight from his left foot to his right, Matsuda replied honestly. "I don't know. Maybe he does love her after all, and we're mistaken. I hardly think –"

"– His eyes aren't those of a man in love," L interrupted.

"And _you_ know love?"

The words left Matsuda before he had the chance to stop them. Now that he'd started talking, however, he couldn't bring himself to stop.

"You've never loved anyone in your life. Everyone you've ever met, you've pushed away... Even people who try to get close to you, who want to be your friend... You sit in this room all day with your sweets and your little mysteries, and when you do happen to go out in public you introduce yourself with fake names – fake personalities." Matsuda's voice rose very slightly with each word. "You pushed your wife to insanity; you've locked up your only daughter. How can you _possibly_ know the eyes of a man in love, L?"

The room fell silent, and Matsuda could swear his heart rate doubled in the minutes between his outburst and L's reaction. The words sunk in slowly, but their effect was immediate, judging by the way L's body stiffened, the hunch in his back becoming even more prominent as he steadily curled in on himself, his hands fisting into the material of his jeans.

Matsuda took deep breaths, vision flickering from the back of L's head to the television screen. The dull _buzz_ of all the monitors in the room was beginning to work his nerves. He wondered how L could stand the sound of them all day long.

"I... I don't know what you're trying to prove," the young physician said carefully. "You're not a detective, you're a doctor – your job is to diagnose patients and help them get better. In the time that Amane Misa and Yagami Light have been committed to the institute, can you really say that you have done anything for them?"

L chose not to comment and so Matsuda continued. "I respect you very much as a doctor, Lawliet-san, but I have to be honest and tell you that this has gone on for long enough. All tests have proven that there is nothing seriously wrong with your patients... _any_ of them. Hallucinations are common occurrences after traumatizing events, and they can be dealt with, if the patient is given proper medication."

Matsuda's brown eyes followed the movement of L's hands as his employer delicately took a small spoon, cup and saucer into possession. The soft tinkling sound of metal against expensive china reached his ears. Knowing a discussion could not last if it remained one-sided Matsuda chose to take his leave. Hopefully L would take the time to think about what had just been said...

As he was about to exit, he paused to take a look back into the room. L sipped his tea slowly, silently, his back still facing the door. Heaving one last, mournful sigh, Matsuda walked out the door.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
_The apple  
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"Good afternoon, Miss Amane," Geneviève greeted politely.

Just as the other day, the young girl was situated in front of a table with paper and crayons strewn before her. Unlike the last visit, however, Geneviève was actually coloring instead of writing the name of the mental institution over and over again. Compared to the way she acted during Misa's prior visit, she came across as a normal child.

Misa took a seat at the opposite end of the table, taking her time in inspecting the girl's drawings. They were all of normal, childish things – rainbows, flowers and hearts – but Geneviève apparently favored only the colors black and red. A familiar, unsettling feeling washed over Misa and she had to focus elsewhere.

"I am afraid we got off to a bad start," Geneviève said, a tiny smile on her face. Misa was amazed by the formality with which she spoke. Hadn't Matsuda said she was only ten?

"Miss Amane?"

Misa blinked, tilting her head to the side. "Yes?"

"Would you care for some tea?"

Before Misa could even respond, Geneviève turned her face in the direction of the nearest camera.

"Watari," she called, developing a snobbish tone, "some tea, please."

Not even five minutes later, the elderly gentleman whom Misa met with during all of her appointments with Doctor Ryuuzaki entered the room, pushing a cart laden with snacks.

"Thank you." Geneviève didn't sound grateful at all as Watari fixed the two girls their tea.

Geneviève daintily raised her cup to her lips, not even waiting for the drink to cool. As a cup was placed in front of Misa, she took it wordlessly, nodding in gratitude.

What was going on? Was she still at Lawliet Institute, or had she been transported to a tea party in an alternate universe? For some reason, she felt as if she was babysitting...

They drank tea in silence – Misa finishing her one cup and Geneviève two. After setting the dishes aside, Geneviève pinned her dark gray eyes on the former supermodel.

"May I ask you a question, Miss Amane?"

"... Of course, go ahead."

Geneviève leaned forward. "Have you ever thought about escaping Lawliet?"

_Escaping...? _

Misa's eyes widened. Of course she had! Many times she envisioned busting through the iron doors, Light at her side, and fleeing from the institute. However nice a dream that was, though, Misa accepted it as just that: a dream. With the amount of security at Lawliet, it was impossible. She'd tried escaping enough times already to know that.

They were being monitored. Was this really a safe discussion to be having?

Geneviève nodded in agreement as Misa explained. "But you tried escaping as only one person. If it was a group effort, there might be a better chance."

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
_cannot be stuck  
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"I heard an interesting rumor about Light-kun today," Ryuuga exclaimed as he took a seat next to his roommate, pulling his knees up to his chest and resting his hands on them in a manner only he could consider comfortable.

Light glanced up from the book one of the nurses has been sympathetic enough to lend to him. "Did you?" he wondered, raising a slender eyebrow.

"Yes."

Ryuuga took his time reaching for a slice of strawberry cake, obviously delaying just for the sake of getting on Light's nerves. Thankfully, Light's patience seemed to know no limits. Setting the novel aside, Light cocked his head, genuinely curious, and waited for Ryuuga to spill the news.

Ryuuga cut himself a bite of the cake and stuffed it into his mouth, content with speaking around the food and spraying crumbs all over his mattress. "One of the doctors was saying that Light-kun got to see Amane Misa – that he is Amane Misa's boyfriend."

... Was that all? Light resisted the urge to scoff. Ryuuga was most likely a fan of Misa – because even Light had to admit that she was one of the most beautiful women he'd ever met, despite the fact that her bubbly personality and constant moronic talk of her undying love for him usually left him feeling distinctly nauseous.

"Is that true, Light-kun?"

Playing the part of the ideal boyfriend, Light gave a bright, slightly embarrassed smile and scratched the back of his head. "I can't believe the staff is gossiping about it..."

"So it's true then?"

"Yes... we've been dating for a few years..."

If possible, Ryuuga's black eyes widened further. "Light-kun is so lucky to have such a lovely and affectionate girlfriend! I am jealous," he admitted, resting the tip of the fork against his lower lip and pouting in a childish manner.

Light wanted to point out that being MisaMisa's boyfriend was definitely not as great as it sounded. True, Misa was exceptionally attractive, but she was also loud, clingy, and unrelenting (especially when it came to matters such as sex, which she always seemed to be in the mood for...).

"Yeah, I really am... Misa's wonderful. Sometimes I think she's way too good for me."

Ryuuga blinked, sliding the fork into his mouth in order to lick away the frosting that still clung to it. He glanced over at the auburn-haired male thoughtfully before extracting the fork and gently setting it down on his plate. "Light-kun shouldn't say things like that... He is a very attractive and smart man, and he has a very nice personality. To me, Yagami Light and Amane Misa are a very appropriate couple."

Light didn't know what to say. He was used to hearing such things, of course; when he first introduced Misa to his family, they had all marveled at what a smart match the two were. Hearing the words coming from Ryuuga, on the other hand... it was... _different_. Light didn't know how to explain what it made him feel.

Bowing his head a fraction, Light quietly thanked Ryuuga. "That is very kind of you to say."

Ryuuga offered a smile. "Friends are supposed to say nice things to each other, are they not?"

Light didn't know why, but the look on Ryuuga's face, coupled with the statement he'd just made, caused him to feel a pang in his chest – one that felt something like a combination of guilt and pity. Ryuuga must have really been alone the majority of his life, to take so seriously the friendship of a fellow patient in a mental ward.

"Ryuuga..."

Light surprised himself by leaning closer to Ryuuga, resting his hand on Ryuuga's forearm. Ryuuga jumped at the touch, his large black eyes darting downwards, staring intently at Light's hand. Light could tell there were several thoughts racing through his mind.

"L-Light-kun," Ryuuga mumbled, feeling particularly uncomfortable.

"Can I ask you something?"

The black-haired man licked his lips, his focus still on Light's hand. "Light-kun is my friend... He can ask me anything," he replied hesitantly.

Light debated if he should really bring up the subject on his mind. He did not know if the topic would be too sensitive to touch on. But he was really dying to know about the one other companion Ryuuga had in his life. Perhaps it would ease his guilt, to learn that Ryuuga had once been madly and deeply in love with someone – to know that he had had someone who cared about him, who loved him.

Ryuuga sucked in a quick breath through his nose, his fingers curling into the palms of his hands. "Why does Light-kun want to know this?"

In an attempt to ease the tension that suddenly sprung up out of nowhere between them, Light slid his hand up to Ryuuga's bony shoulder, grasping it gently. Several of the longer strands of his roommate's unkempt hair tickled his fingers. He smiled teasingly.

"I'm trying to picture Ryuuga's type of woman," he explained with a soft chuckle.

To be honest, he couldn't picture his roommate with any woman. But obviously Ryuuga had been with someone.

Ryuuga brought one hand to his mouth and began to chew on the thumbnail. "... She was very tall," he told Light. "Taller than me when she wore hells."

This was not difficult to imagine, considering Ryuuga's terrible posture. Light towered above him when they stood side-by-side.

"Her hair was brown, very short. She never liked to look anything less than professional. I guess one could say we were exact opposites in that sense."

"What was her name?"

"Rebecca. She was four years older than me."

Light was taken aback by this piece of information. It was not an uncommon thing, for a wife to be older than her husband, but still... four years older? Ryuuga was twenty-seven now; how old had he been when he got married?

As if reading his thoughts, Ryuuga elucidated, "I was eighteen, she was twenty-two. It was marriage of convenience more than anything else."

There was that pang again... Light tried to ease the internal discomfort by repositioning himself on the bed, stretching his legs out in front of him, but the movement did little.

"Did you love her?" the younger man questioned, a bit cautiously.

Ryuuga didn't answer immediately. Reaching to the plate, he plucked a strawberry up between his thumb and index finger. He examined the fruit closely, rotating his wrist to view it at different angles. "There was a time when I might have loved her... but I don't remember now."

Shrugging his shoulders indifferently, he popped the strawberry into his mouth. "Light-kun is very inquisitive this afternoon," he observed, blank eyes once again locking on his roommate's.

Light apologized and removed his hand from Ryuuga's shoulder.

There were several minutes of complete silence, in which Ryuuga kept on eating his cake and Light tried to focus on anything except his roommate.

"It's strange..." Ryuuga spoke quietly, more to himself than to his companion.

"What is?"

"The feelings I get when I am around Light-kun." A second strawberry found its way into Ryuuga's mouth and his expression became pensive. "I do not quite know how to explain them."

Light hid his repulsion exceptionally well. The idea of Ryuuga developing feelings for him – feelings beyond friendship – was disturbing, to say the least. Yes, Light knew that he was naturally a charming person – he had a knack for making strangers fall in love with him, a talent he took a certain amount of pride in – but to invoke 'strange feelings' in a mental patient seven years his senior? Light couldn't help but hope the feelings Ryuuga referred to were of a platonic, brotherly sort.

_Then again... _

The gears in Light's ever-plotting mind began to whirr into motion.

If Ryuuga was in love with him, Light could use the emotions to his advantage. He was a wonderful actor, and he would bet money that he could convince Ryuuga that he felt the same thing towards him.

Before their capture, Misa proved to be an excellent aid in his mission to create a new world, and it was all because she was hopelessly in love with him. Perhaps Ryuuga could also demonstrate his worth as well.

If Ryuuga felt something more than friendship towards Light, he might be willing to risk escaping Lawliet Institute with him.

A smile wormed its way onto Light's handsome face.

Yes, that was it.

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_back on the Tree of Knowledge...  
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That night, L lay in bed staring up at the ceiling with wide, expressionless eyes. As usual, he was having difficulty falling asleep. The cause of his insomnia this evening, however, was not his curiosity and fear of monsters, but the young man slumbering peacefully at the opposite end of the room.

The conversation they shared earlier repeated like a broken record in the doctor's mind. Presently,L was attempting to convince himself that the words exchanged between them were nothing more than lies. He did not want to believe that he cared for his patient.

Matsuda had been one-hundred percent correct when he accused L of never loving anyone in his life.

Not even his wife... he had been attracted to her, certainly (so had many other men), but he couldn't truthfully say he'd loved the woman. Not even the little girl who sat alone in the White Wing, silently wishing him dead; each and every day L fought to help her – he'd even vowed to give up his own life if he couldn't succeed in doing so – but something prevented him from loving her as he knew he should.

Heavy black eyes wandered over to the opposite bed. L studied Light's body from afar. Light, so handsome – so identical to himself, in terms of personality.

First it was only intrigue that caused L to cling to this patient. But now... L didn't know anymore.

_"His eyes aren't those of a man in love."_

_"And _you_ know love?"_

No. The truth was, L knew nothing about love – about friendship, even. But he did know that he hoped Light was not lying to him when he touched his arm and proclaimed they were friends – that he cared about him.

Light shifted on the bed, rolling onto his side. L stared at him intently, noticing how the blankets had become tangled between his long legs. After a minute or two passed, L removed himself from the bed and padded softly over to the other side of the room, where he proceeded to reposition the blankets over Light's body.

Light sighed contentedly, a smile crossing his lips – which L realized, with a hint of amusement, were quite full for a man's – as he snuggled into the blankets.

Turning from the sight, the doctor made his way back over to his bed. Just as he'd taken two steps away, a voice stopped him in his tracks.

"Pleasant dreams, Ryuuga."

L's back straightened very slightly. For a second, he wanted to bitterly respond with how unlikely the chances of that happening were. On most nights, he didn't catch a wink of sleep – and on the seldom that he did, his slumber was a restless one, riddled with nightmares of the past. But he dismissed that option as soon as Matsuda's nagging voice wriggled to the forefront of his mind.

_"Everyone you've ever met, you've pushed away."_

And then another voice – a smaller, angrier voice.

_"I hate you! I hope you die – I hope a monster kills you!"_

"Ryuuga..."

L turned leisurely, torn between remaining stoic and allowing his emotions to override his system like they threatened to.

_Yagami Light... is my patient_

_- is a murderer _

_- is the only person who's ever made me feel like this..._

_What should I do? What _can_ I do? _

Smiling, L finally reached out to Light, smoothing out the folds of the bed sheets under the younger man's chin.

"Sweet dreams, Light."

* * *

_Lawli: The apple quote in this chapter is from Arthur Miller. The other half of this same quote will be used in the next chapter._

_I really love Matsuda in this chapter. After watching episode 37 over and over again, I knew that I really needed to give him a hint of a backbone in this story. Haha. Also, as you might have guessed, the relationship between Light and L is beginning to gradually deepen. After much thought on the matter, I decided that I will in fact be adding a sprinkle of yaoi to this story. There really won't be a lot of it, and it is mostly one-sided anyways. I hope that doesn't cause anyone to stop reading. n.n' _

_Anyways I hope you liked the chapter! See the purple button down there? You should really click it... reviews and constructive criticism are always loved and appreciated!_


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